Before the Dawn of Time . . . Loved !

(written May 15, 2010)

It is astounding, wonderful, and very exciting to see my 60th birthday arrive today. Friends and family are asking me "How does it feel to be 60?". It may take me days, even weeks, to unpack all the emotions rushing in, like an unexpected tide. I am not a simple man. I'm ok with that. A tsunami of feelings swirl about me. One friend sent me a card with a man in the churning ocean surf as a giant, 40-foot wave curls over his head. A good image to convey how this day feels to me. Awesome. Breathtaking. Good, very, very good!

I am overwhelmed by all the love. One friend from high school wrote to remind me of how God used me to turn his life around. He called me up late one evening in 1970 to say "goodbye", wanting to "end it all". Whether God called me to intervene or I suffered from a "messiah complex", I decided to leave immediately to help him. With no car, my only option at that late hour was to hitchhike to Buffalo. Once you leave the bright lights of Boston, the Massachusetts Turnpike is a very dark road. I ended up walking backwards with my thumb out for many miles on the shoulder of the road. I sang in tongues and watched the stars in the Milky Way shine bright. I was happy and excited. Finally a car pulled over and a middle aged man told me to get in. It soon became apparent that he was drunk and was losing his battle to stay awake. He abruptly asked me "Can you drive?" and before I could answer, he pulled to a stop, got up and moved to the back seat, laid down and fell asleep. I did all the driving and made Buffalo by daybreak. It may have been two lives that were saved that night.

God has used me many times in the last 40 years since my "baptism with fire". He works in me, through me, and often, in spite of me. I have failed Him too, more than I want to admit. Yet "He remembers our frame; He remembers we are dust". And so we rise each day, ready to begin again. Getting to this age with good health, great joy, deep peace, hope, and enthusiasm to continue serving Him is His gift. The greatest gift is to know Him and to be taken by Him. His ear listens for my voice. He calls me His child, loved before the dawn of time, with a mission and a purpose only I can fulfill. My true identity is hidden, even from me, until that glorious day when all will be made known. In the time remaining here on this planet, I want to give Him my all. I want to surrender completely.

Gary