the loss of my brother Tom

The essence of my reflection below is taken from some notes scribbled down hastily on a notepad at my mother's place last week, the day after my brother Tom's "Memorial Luncheon".

Warning : this reflection of mine, inspired by my personal grief over Tom's death and my own religious convictions, may contain statements of faith not "culturally sensitive" or in fashion these days. I make no apologies for telling the Truth.

gg

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Grief has its own logic and time line. It is not something that can be scheduled or "manufactured", although when it is present, it may be suppressed or denied for a time. If grief is ignored, it will manifest itself in strange, unpredictable ways as it leaks out sideways. As any human being who has reached my age knows, there are many things to grieve over in 60 years and in these final decades of life, I know there will be even more losses ahead - as well as my own health and vigor. "The grass withers, the flower fades" as we are reminded in the psalms. But for we Christians, death and sorrow do not have the last word - oh no! We have the truth, concerning our own restoration - in spirit AND in body - from God Himself. Jesus came to save us all. He died and rose from death, robbing death of its power and finality. That was the turning point in human history.

Death remains the very worst thing that happens to a human being in this world, but it is not the End for any of us. There is life after this life and that reality changes everything. Regardless of what we suffer here, it means nothing in comparison to the overwhelming victory Christ has won for us. The life we are destined for is far, far greater than any joy we may hope for or imagine. Even those people who suffer greatly in life and lose everything will say "What does it matter if God has prepared such a wonderful place for me with Him? It was all well worth the pain and loss! I would die a thousand times to reach this place!"

I cannot and will not put a happy face on the loss of my brother Tom. My heart is heavy with grief and there will be many tears to cry, whenever they may come. Death is ugly and painful to bear. No one should ever deny the hurt and sorrow it brings. My brother should not have died this way! He should not have suffered the hellish torment of addiction that plagued his mind and body. My hope for Tom is tied to my faith and trust in God. Without that, his life is a meaningless loss, a waste.

Some well intentioned people have suggested that Tom's body will decompose and become part of the "circle of life". I love Tom, not some blind impersonal force called "Life". The joy for a Christian is our vision of the person we love fully restored, with a new power and vitality that will never be lost. If there is no resurrection of the dead, we Christians are fools and the biggest losers in the history of our planet. For me, there is no doubt about our coming resurrection. None! I have staked my life of the promises of Christ. Jesus made a bold claim to be God, not a part of God, but fully God in the flesh. He is either who He said He is or a liar or a lunatic. There are no other options.

Life has only two destinations - heaven with God or hell without Him. We were made for God alone and to live on without Him IS the worst thing that can befall a human being. That is the failure we should fear. It is critical to find the one true way home. The consequences are eternal. Other religions may offer valuable insights into human nature or moral guidelines, but there is only one sure Way to the True Home we all crave and desire. Nothing else will satisfy us. As St Augustine said "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee, O Lord". I exhort all of you, myself included, to spare no effort in seeking the Truth. Our time is short in life. Death may come at any time. I pray for you all, each and everyone I know, to find God and to surrender to the One who created us for eternal joy. I want everyone I know (even my enemies) to be with me in heaven. Who would I ever want to exclude when we have a Father so good and so full of love for each one of us? All hatred, envy, petty strife, and evil will disappear in the coming kingdom of God. Just be sure you get there! How? "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life" says our God. Ask Him to show you how in all sincerity. It's a request He cannot refuse because it is His will for each of us, the reason we were created.

Gary