how do I know I am doing the will of God ?

Many Christians struggle with the idea of God's will for us - how do we know we are doing it? Only a select few receive God's direction from a heavenly messenger. And those who receive such a divine intervention still struggle with it : knowing it and doing it are two separate things.

As a 20-year-old, I was an eager beaver who wanted to do whatever God asked. I prayed earnestly to know His will. I fasted. I spent late-night vigils begging Him for some direction. I sought the scriptures. I sought the counsel of older and wiser Christians who were devout. There are times when I did receive strong anointings or inspirations to do something specific or to talk to someone. Those experiences are exciting and motivation to keep myself open and docile to God's word to me. But, as far as hearing how I should spend my entire life - that never came to me. The daily dose of His word was enough.

Looking back over the last 40 years, I can now trace the outline of a life lived as a follower of Christ. Sometimes I did very well in living gospel values. Other times, I failed miserably. I certainly tried to live a Christian life. But we all are broken vessels (or cracked pots, as some say). Still, it seems to me, I have lived as a Christian - as a husband, father, and member of the Body of Christ. I was meant to be married, but did not know that as a 20-year-old. In fact, I was actively considering the priesthood and might have actually tried that except for one small choice I made. I asked the Lord : "Is the priesthood something that you want for me? If not, turn me around." As we all can see now, God did turn me around, through a series of events and careful discernment with my trusted friends. How happy I am to be the man I have become! However imperfectly, I have lived as a disciple. I am living as His son, ready to respond.

Knowing God's will is something that becomes clear over time, even a lifetime. Some people get dramatic signs or events in their life to steer them one way or the other. But most of us make small choices that lead us to a path unseen from the starting place. I was reading psalm 40 this morning and was struck by verse 6 "You, who wanted no sacrifice or oblation, opened my ear." The footnote in my Jerusalem bible says "God sees to it that his servant knows his will". The founding pastor of my church, Father Frank McGrath, put it this way : "It is God's responsibility to tell us what He wants." We must not make our own plans without making the effort to listen to Him. We can even give Him permission to "Stop me, Lord, if I am going my own way". Gary